Leaving
by kittikat8531
Summary: The wedding reception is beautiful, but the couple is wrong. Zutara angst, married Kataang, mentioned Maiko. Oneshot, complete. Please R&R.


AN: So despite my only minor interest in Zutara and Avatar in general, this little bug has been floating around in my head for days. I finally decided to let it out. Fair warning, this isn't happy.

Disclaimer: I of course do not own anything related to Avatar.

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"Congratulations," he said when they finally crossed paths at the reception. His voice was almost brutally clipped and cold.

"Thank you," she said, as politely as she could, because of course it really wasn't the place for a scene. "I hear you'll be next."

His nod is, if possible, even curter than his words. She's impressed at how well he can be perfectly observing the rules of propriety while making his anger painfully clear. "Next month. I hope you and Aang will be back by then."

"I don't know how long we'll be on our honeymoon. It depends on how things go."

Aang finds them, and Katara is impressed when Zuko actually summons a smile for the airbender. She knew they were friends, but she'd rather expected the Fire Lord to get the same cold shoulder as she was. Their chat is much livelier, and much less stiff, but Aang is soon called away by one of the other guests. She wished it had been her, because Zuko's temper was much easier to handle when he was yelling or firebending. Silence hurt.

"We should talk," she said finally. "Privately."

This gained her a second nod, and he follows her through the crowd until they reach the terrace. Since most of the guests were not waterbenders, and her own tribesmen were inside enjoying the party, it was mercifully empty as another cold night descended on the South Pole. His hands immediately withdrew into his sleeves, but that was the only concession he made to the harsh winds. His inner fire would protect him long enough for them to have their chat.

"I'm sorry," she began in a rush. She wanted to say more, but he gave her such an awful stare that she stopped.

Zuko let the silence bear down on them for a long beat before he spoke. "I thought you'd been kidnapped. I couldn't think of any other reason to wake up alone, your necklace on the pillow. I couldn't imagine you leaving it behind willingly."

Katara swallowed hard, not sure what she could do. "It wasn't willing."

"It felt willing. I was scared out of my mind, and I couldn't even send my guards to find you because of how important it was to keep our relationship secret. Imagine my surprise when my assistant told me you'd left at the first tide."

"Zuko, I –" This got her another glare, and she waited. He deserved to let it all out.

"I could have tolerated almost anything else, you know. If you'd told me what you were doing, I would've understood."

"No, you wouldn't," she countered. Realizing she'd just broken his unspoken demand for silence, she winced, waiting for him to lose his temper. It was a nasty shock when he didn't.

"You're right. I wouldn't. It still would've been better than having you disappear in the middle of the night without so much as a word. It was like losing my mother all over again."

She hadn't realized it before, but now that he'd said as much she started to see just how much of a mistake she'd made. Finding Princess Ursa had done him a world of good, but part of Zuko was still the scared child whose mother left one night and never came home. Ursa at least had talked to him first; she hadn't afforded him that much courtesy.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

The apology was clearly the wrong thing to say. His control shattered and he roared, eyes burning. "You're SORRY?! If you were sorry, you wouldn't have left me in the middle of the night! You wouldn't have married another man after abandoning the engagement necklace I made you! It should have been us, Katara! That party inside is supposed to be ours!"

Katara wanted to cry, but she knew she couldn't. She still had to go back in and play the attentive bride, and it was hard to be convincing with tear tracks on her face. Drawing herself up straight, she tried to be strong. "I didn't have a choice."

The disgusted sound he made told her very clearly what he thought of that. "There's always a choice. Or were all of Aang's speeches about better ways more lies?"

"I didn't lie to you, Zuko."

"You came to me that night knowing what you were going to do." She didn't deny it, and if anything that only served to make him angrier. "You were wearing the necklace, sleeping next to me, even though you intended to abandon us!"

She was the one who wanted to shout now, but while Zuko's temper was so common that it could easily be ignored, hers wasn't. If they wanted their conversation to stay quiet, she had to keep the volume down. "It wasn't easy on me either! I never wanted any of this!"

"Then why?!" he demanded. He reached out, uncertain, as if he hadn't decided if he meant to hug her or shake her, then pulled his hands back as if they'd been scalded. "I think you owe me that much!"

"Aang knew."

Silence finally fell as he stared at her in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"I'm not actually sure, but you didn't see the way he was acting, Zuko. He was looking at me strangely, and out of nowhere he started talking about how he wouldn't be able to handle any of his Avatar duties without me, and how he'd just quit if I wasn't there. I couldn't let that happen. Rebuilding is too important."

"We made a promise," he said bitterly. "The one selfish thing we'd be able to do when the world kept clamoring for our attention."

"I can't be selfish at the expense of the world."

"We agreed, Katara! It was so hard keeping our relationship hidden, and we decided to get married and damn what everyone else wanted! We made a promise!"

"This is hard on me too," she snapped before restraining herself. "I don't like this, but I didn't have a choice. We couldn't lose the Avatar because I was in love with someone else."

"Was?" he demanded.

"Am," she amended. Tears touched the corners of her eyes, but she was quick to bend them away. "Always, Zuko. That much hasn't changed."

"Then why are you doing this to us?!"

"The world needs the Avatar and the Fire Lord to work together. The only way to keep that going was to sacrifice what I wanted."

"What _we_ wanted!"

She knew it would hurt him, but looking at him in the middle of their icy confrontation just brings back the boy who, eight years ago, had been desperate for her forgiveness. She wished she'd given it sooner, because the blow she just dealt him was so much worse than his betrayal then. They'd only had a few minutes together in the crystal catacombs. This time she'd been secretly engaged to him for a year before leaving without a word to marry another man.

"I tried to play it off at first, you know," he said quietly, startling her out of her thoughts. "I thought something must have come up, an illness or something, and you had to go fast before it got out of hand. I don't think I realized what was happening until I got the invitation."

"So you decided to get married too?" Because even though she was the one who left, it still hurt that she'd been replaced so quickly.

"It's political and you know it. The Fire Lord has to have heirs." The look they shared made it clear they were both thinking of little blue eyed firebending girls and golden eyed waterbending boys, or some combination thereof. "It's not like I'm marrying Mai."

She remembered Mai leaving in a fit of pique because of Zuko's secrets. A small, quiet part of her was relieved, because for all their problems Zuko had really cared about Mai. That horrible piece didn't want him happy with another woman.

"We should just run away," Zuko whispered.

She wanted to. It sounded like a dream, to be able to disappear into the wide world and just be Katara and Zuko. Instead, they had to face the world as it was. She was Master Katara, the Avatar's wife, and he was the Fire Lord. They'd never be allowed anything else.

"We can't."

His scowl was as familiar as his scar, but it still hurt to have it directed her way. "We shouldn't have to," he corrected. "But here we are. Thanks to you."

That nasty part of her flared again, wanting him to blame Aang instead, but he knew – they both knew – who had made the decision. Aang had probably been over exaggerating, or lying. She'd given in because she feared the possibility he wasn't.

"I don't know how many times I can apologize."

"It doesn't matter." His voice was flat again, and as cold as the winds that were starting to bother her, so he must have been in agony. "Nothing will make up for what you did."

"I'm still your friend, Zuko."

"No, you're not."

He turned sharply and went back to the party. Aang approached him as he did, but judging by how quickly they parted ways, Zuko had not been receptive. Katara would have given anything in that moment to go back and change what she'd done, but she couldn't. Now they all had to pay the price.

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AN: I only seem capable of writing angst lately. Ah well. If you've made it this far, you must know what I want. Reviews, of course! Please let me know what you thought. Criticism is acceptable as long as it's constructive. Till next time!


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